PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
