i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
