if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
