Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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