So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
