Just fell off a train. Bad.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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