Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
