I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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