Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
