thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
