Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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