If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
