Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
