Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
not ubering you a puppy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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