Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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