I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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