i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize