she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
