Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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