I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
