6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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