just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
