that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
