in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
