I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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