Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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