she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
