I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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