I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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