I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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