just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
