hotel room ftw
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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