terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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