Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
