True but thats because hes a fetus.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
