also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
