Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize