I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
