i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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