the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
