Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
