i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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