Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
