Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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