It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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