I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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