I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
