could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
