C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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