if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
