just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
