I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
