It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
