I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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