fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
