I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
