she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
