My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Randomize
