he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
