You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
