The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
